How History Colors Truth

Driving through an intersection, a car comes from the left and slams into another car, a Kia, spinning it around and leaving it on the sidewalk. The driver is shaken, not stirred, and uninjured. The car that hit it, the Camry, bounces off the Kia, slams into the side of an apartment building, and injures the non-English speaking driver who managed to rent a car in this country without rental insurance.

Several people hear the accident, and emerge onto the street. They gather around the injured Camry driver, who is wailing and has hit her head on the steering wheel because she wasn’t wearing her seat belt. The Kia driver looks uninjured. No one checks. The police are called, statements are taken. All the statements are different: she did not have on her seat belt, yes she did. Then how did she hit her head? The Kia was speeding, no it wasn’t. The Camry ran a stop-sign; no, she stopped. She was texting, the Kia was turning, he was looking the other way, it was so quick. It’s endless. And here’s the problem: no one actually saw the accident. But that did not stop them from interpreting what they thought happened, based on their experience. That’s how we see the world: our interpretation of the event, plus our own history.

There is the truth, and then there is our individual perception of the truth. Each version may be different, which is why eye witnesses do not  necessarily agree and are generally considered unreliable. We bring our individual experience to what we believe to be the truth. We expect to see, feel, hear, and touch what we experience.

When we say we cannot learn three sentences in another language, do one pushup, run a marathon, write an articulate report, improve our diet, stand on one leg for 10 seconds, or sleep through the night, we are setting ourselves up for exactly what happens to us. We see the world through our history. Just as we get it wrong about accidents and events (which we observe, or not), we get it wrong about our perceived talents and our ability to try new things, learn new skills. What happens is what we expect to happen, based on perception and history. We are right either way. 

The next time you hear yourself (pay attention because it’s mindless what we say to ourselves), undervaluing your abilities, stop yourself. Step back, take a breath, and recognize that this is just your perception at this time. Like the accident, it may not be the absolute, cold, just-the-facts truth. There might be nothing stopping you from getting better sleep than your perception and your history. Changing that changes everything.

That’s Aging Intelligently.